There is a huge variety of conflicts in society, which is determined by the reasons for their occurrence.

Family conflicts are one of the most common forms of conflict. According to experts, in 80-85% of families there are conflicts, and in the remaining 15-20% there are quarrels on various occasions.

Purpose

In this article, our research will cover the following tasks:

1.               Identify the causes of family conflicts;

2.               Classify family conflicts;

3.               Identify the possibilities of preventing and resolving family conflicts.

Materials and methods

The causes of family conflicts

 Family conflicts are manifold. This conflict between spouses, parents, children, and it's intergenerational conflicts between the younger and older generations. Family conflicts arise between its members on the implementation of family functions, psychological contradictions, different understanding of family goals, and each generation of development objectives, the system of family values family. Family conflict is perceived and experienced by members of her family as a divergence, a clash of their interests, goals and needs.

Each of us can identify several causes that cause frequent conflicts in the family:

- different views on family life;

- Unmet needs and empty expectations;

- drunkenness of one of the spouses;

- infidelity;

- disrespectful attitude towards each other;

- unwillingness to participate in the upbringing of children;

- household disorder;

- disrespect for relatives;

- unwillingness to help around the house;

- Differences in spiritual interests;

- selfishness;

- inconsistency of temperaments;

jealousy, etc.

This is not all the causes that cause conflicts in the family. Most often, there are several reasons.

Classification of conflicts

Physiological conflict. That is, partners, for example, have completely different biological cycles (one - a lark, the second - an owl), and against this background a conflict situation arises. This type of conflict psychologists advise to crush in the bud, and at the very beginning of family life to understand the characteristics of each other, and talk about them straight. This is exactly the case when conflict can be avoided. And you can do this only way - to organize your living space so that none of the spouses in it feel depressed and adapting to the wishes and needs of the other. But if it was not possible to avoid misunderstanding, then one should realize that this type of conflict can not be the basis for the destruction of the family, and the best way out of it is a compromise.

Psychosexual conflict overtakes the couple at the very moment when from their lives the euphoria disappears, which gives a feeling of love a pair. And the growing feeling of dissatisfaction with a partner is a good reason to begin prevention of this type of conflict. Way to avoid this type of conflict in the home - is to be with yourself at the beginning of a sexual relationship with a partner.

- role status, and is associated with its occurrence impressive number of divorces among couples. If one partner in a couple pointedly not respect each and every way diminishes his role - statusno -role conflict there. It appears in the mesalliances (more known as unequal marriages), and the inequality of partners is of a social nature. To avoid this conflict, once and for all to learn: re-educate an adult is impossible, and therefore "saw" it is useless.

In an emotional conflict, the main problem is the lack of obvious manifestations of love from one of the spouses. This state of affairs is usually established in pairs, where one of the partners is a closed and not very emotional person, and therefore he can not every five minutes to repeat his half about unearthly love. And if this half is not too confident in yourself, and in the feelings of the spouse, then the emotional conflict will not keep you waiting. In this case, the partner, mean to the emotions, it is necessary to remember that it is impossible to look into the soul of another person. And if his warm attitude to the beloved does not show, then sooner or later (but most likely, too early), he doubted the presence of any feelings from the partner.

The age-old conflict is not called the age-old conflict of generations, but the misunderstanding that arises between people whose maturity is completely at different levels. To aggravate this type of conflict is simple: you need to stop noticing your partner and showing him in every possible way that you can not have joint ventures. Preserve such a relationship is only if each of the spouses is sure that next to him is the very "one and only". And if the marriage - only a preparatory stage before the new, real relationships, it is better to admit it myself and put on a family bullet. Moreover, psychologists say that the age conflict is very difficult to resolve.

Value conflict. If life priorities two people are too different and can not find common ground, then the fact that they were related by marriage only as an accident can not be called. However, experts are sure that such a type of conflict is quite possible to overcome if enough effort is put into its solution. Even in the event that one of the spouses shows antisocial behavior, is addicted to alcohol or drug dependence,

Results

Prevention of family conflicts

Prevention and resolution of family conflicts should be considered as the main activities for managing such conflicts. Often when resolving family conflicts, they use the services of an intermediary.

Prevention of family conflicts depends on all members of the family and, first of all, on the spouses. It should be borne in mind that some small family quarrels can have a positive direction, helping to come to an agreement on controversial issues and prevent a larger conflict. But in most cases, family conflicts should not be allowed. The main ways to prevent family conflicts depend on potential subjects of conflict interaction (spouses, parents, children, relatives, etc.). For each specific case, useful advice can be found in the recommended literature.

Ways to prevent family conflicts

Here we will name only the most common ways of preventing family conflicts, resulting from the socio-psychological patterns of family development. Such ways are:

- the formation of a psychological and pedagogical culture, knowledge of the basics of family relations (in the first place, it concerns the spouses);

- the education of children, taking into account their individual psychological and age characteristics, as well as emotional states;

- the organization of the family on a full-fledged basis, the formation of family traditions, the development of mutual assistance, mutual responsibility, trust and respect;

- formation of a culture of communication.

Ways to resolve family conflicts

 Conflicts existed, and will exist, they are an integral part of human relations. They arise because of differences between people, because the actions, perceptions, feelings of each of us are not the same and sometimes come into collision with each other.

Drawing on the work of David Johnson, one can suggest one of the possible models of behavior for resolving the conflict situation that has arisen.

An important role in the constructive resolution of conflicts is played by the following factors:

1.               Adequacy of conflict reflection.

Often in a conflict situation, we incorrectly perceive our own actions, intentions and positions, as well as actions, intentions and points of view of the opponent. Typical reflections of perception include:

Categorical is the vision of relations with the spouse in "black and white" tones. If in some aspect of marriage a problem is determined - you tend to think that marriage is doomed. Conversely, if there is progress in any sphere of relations, then you are absolutely calm for marriage as a whole.

Pessimism - you notice, and attach importance only to negative aspects and ignore the positive aspects of your married life. Your forecasts for a joint future are rather gloomy.

Subjectivism - you ignore the obvious, in terms of "own" facts. You are used to using your feelings as evidence of something.

Frivolity - you are sure that the problem does not exist or that the individual facts that occur do not have any significance for your marriage.

Idealism - you have a romantic outlook on life. Your expectations about yourself, your partner and marriage in general, are not realistic.

Unrealistic requirements - you require your spouse to be what you want him to be. The most common words in your lexicon are "must" and "must".

Orientation to comfort - You treat marriage as a tool to meet only your needs and increase the level of your comfort only.

Fatalism - you refuse to change anything in your marriage, not because you are satisfied with everything, but because "nothing can be changed". The principle of "what will be - it will be."

Conservatism - You view marriage as a stereotype of relationships. External influences cause you anxiety. Thoughts about the need to change something are fear.

Sacrifice - you consider marriage from the standpoint of the victim and the need to sacrifice something: to save a marriage, for the sake of someone or something. A classic example: for the sake of children. The main mistake is that children, adopting your way of relationships, realize it in their families, dooming themselves to the same role as the "victim" (the principle of negative programming).

In any conflict, both partners experience so-called mixed feelings. On the one hand, everyone feels dislike, anger or hatred for another, a desire for the opponent to abandon his position, on the other - his opponents have more benevolent feelings engendered by the totality of previous relationships, as well as a desire for mutual understanding and agreement.

Knowing this, in a conflict situation, you need to carefully analyze your feelings in specific cases.

2.               Openness and effectiveness of communication of the conflicting parties;

This is the main condition for constructive conflict resolution. Therefore, sometimes it makes sense at the very beginning of the conflict to take risks and as fully as possible, even in a harsh manner, to say to each other what you feel. At this point, it makes no sense to try to solve something, the main thing is not to offend or humiliate a partner.

Mutual expression of feelings can help in creating conditions for using communication for the purpose of constructive exchange of thoughts. And also, avoid threats, lies, manipulation attempts partner, because these actions are dictated by the desire to gain the upper hand over the enemy, and not to achieve mutual consent.

3.               Creating a climate of mutual trust and cooperation.

Conflict is resolved more successfully if both sides are interested in achieving some general result encouraging cooperation.

Conclusion

The more precise the definition of the essential elements of the conflict, the easier it is to find means for effective behavior. Consistent behavior aimed at overcoming the conflict as a whole, involves several stages:

a) identification of the main problem;

b) determining the cause of the conflict;

c) the search for possible ways of resolving the conflict;

d) a joint decision to withdraw from the conflict;

e) implementation of the planned joint method of conflict resolution;

e) evaluation of the effectiveness of efforts undertaken to resolve the conflict.

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